Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
