my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
