My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
