It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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