Having a random hookup so left but love u
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Randomize
