You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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