Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
