He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I need help removing her.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
