It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
