The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
