so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize