you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
