accomplished twins. life is a go
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
