Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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