my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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