all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
