we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
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