We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
