I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
We have started to decorate penises.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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