Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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