On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
