I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize