Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
