I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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