We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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