Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
