you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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