My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
