Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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