you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
