Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
