I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
