I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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