I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I met the friendliest cop last night
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
