I wish they made helmets for livers.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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