i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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