You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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