white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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