Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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