I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
