am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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