First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Randomize
