How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
My breasts were aching with rage.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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