He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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