Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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