its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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