how can u be prego again
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Randomize
