Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
