Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
