she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
