I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
