i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
