Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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