I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
