new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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