I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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