I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
