it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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