I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
