Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
so that wasnt chicken after all
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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