i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
