You work out of a Hotel?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
